Memorieswith and without
by Frail-Limb-Nursery777
Summary: Johnny kills Devi...afterwards he begans to think of what he just did. Song-Fic to


"Memories...with and without"  
I pace, alone  
  
In a place for the dead  
  
Overcome by woe He walked, head hanging low, past all what was left of memories of people before. He kept is dripping, red eyes fixed on the path, his feet scuffed  
through the red, orange leaves of the late October.  
And here, I've grown  
  
So fond of dread  
  
That I swear it's heaven  
  
He scanned the dreadful scene with is swollen eyes.... searching.... He  
looked into the sky...gray... He sighed...always gray...but that's the  
brightest it ever gets.  
Oh sweet May,  
  
Dressed in grief  
  
Roll back the stone He finally loomed over his beloved...and dropped to his knees... He dusted  
off the excess dirt.  
With these words scrawled in a severed hand  
  
Tears fall like shards of glass that band  
  
In rivers, like sinners  
  
Swept with me to join the damned He then felt a sudden drop, inside his wounded body...such depression....  
it was almost as insanity sunk deeply into his chest...like that of the knife to his love by his own hand. He then fiercely clawed his way through  
the rocky soil...scarring his hands. There was no other thought in his mind...I must reach her...I must.... His tears glistened as they dampened  
the soil below him.  
A darkened sky  
  
The day that laughter died  
  
Fell swiftly into night  
  
And stayed within Her sight The sky, from a light gray, drifted into the darkest ebony. The cold rain outlined the sides of this hallowed face and fell to join with his tears. Till, finally, he was in sight of the morbid crypt that hampered his only  
source of joy.  
Staring at the knife  
  
Oh God, how easy now the sacrifice  
  
My life, to have Her with me He reached into the hidden compartment of his jacket and reviled the sliver blade that would aid him in his conquest for happiness. He dug deeply into  
the crevice of the tomb to release his one and only.  
So farewell to distant thunder  
  
Those inept stars I've worshipped under  
  
Fall father, their Father  
  
Lies in wait in flames below  
  
Whilst my love, a blood red flower  
  
Calls to me from verdant bowers  
  
Graveside, I cry  
  
Please save me from this Hell I know He could feel the strongest point of the storm coming forth, the thunder struck violently above. Prayers would help him not in a moment of this sort of scenario. Only he could destroy the guilt that was locked up inside him.  
He then ripped open the door to heaven. He ran his hands over the cold  
face to move her silky black hair from her closed eyes. Her face was  
smudged with blood from the hands of her savior. He gently lifted her  
lifeless head and kissed the cold slightly blue lips of his damsel. He leaned his forehead against hers and began to sob.... She was the only one  
that could ever help him.  
A darkened sky  
  
The day that laughter died  
  
Fell swiftly into night  
  
And stayed within Her sight  
  
Staring at the knife  
  
Oh God, how easy now to sacrifice  
  
My life, to have Her with me  
  
An eye for an eye as espied in the bible  
  
My faith is lost to the burning of idols  
  
One less cross to press upon the survival  
  
Of this lorded agony  
"WHY!" he screamed in sheer pain. "Why did I do this!" looking up he  
reached for the sky. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!! How could I've  
become this mad? So insane that I had to destroy the only symbol of innocence...happiness...love in my life?! He screamed violently, so violently he fell on the motionless body of his beloved...sobbing. "You did nothing wrong... you did everything exactly to plan...she was in the way... the way of your and my victory..." Johnny looked up above the grave and saw the outline  
of the bastard... the bastard was implanted into his mind, the one that sucked all the sanity out of him and forced him to do this. "Get the fuck away from me, Eff, you've fucked with my head long enough." He said while  
looking back down at his beautiful victim. He looked up again and the  
outline was gone.  
  
And I, (much as I have tried  
  
To bury Her from mind,  
  
Fate's tourniquet was tied, when She died...)  
  
Still sense Her presence so divine  
  
Lithe arms about my throat  
  
Like pining swans entwined  
  
Footfalls at nightfall close to mine As he smashed his face into the blouse of his darling, he thought of that night, when hell became life, which he thought before, could be heaven. He tried to think of life without her...it was impossible...he lay alone in bed...still hear her laughter...still feeling her warm breath upon his bare shoulder... Yet he knew she lay under the earth alone and cold...and that  
was what was killing him slowly...from the inside out.  
Suicide is a tried and tested formula for release He thought and planned from nightfall to dawn...thinking...planning...his  
decision was correct by all means...she couldn't be replaced.  
I snatch Her whisper like the wind through cedars  
  
See Her face in every natural feature  
  
Midst the mist and sleepy hollows of fever...  
  
With glee deceiving me That night after he was forced to do Fuck's evil bidding, he sat alone on  
his bed starring at his blood stained shirt as he was coming out of the  
trance. He felt the icy wind blow open the window and pass beside his  
ear...the sound...the voice.... it was the voice of he heard scream for mercy earlier. He shook off his head and stood to shut the window... After  
closing he examined the frost on the glass...the shape of it...almost a  
perfect oval...with dark smudges from his thumbs...dark...like her beautiful eyes... "God damn it!" he yelled and struck the glass with his  
right hand.  
Suicide is a tried and tested formula for release Then he realized what he had just done... Terror and disbelief engulfed him. He called her and the phone rang forever...none answered... "It's two in the morning she would be home... unless I really did..." he stopped because his  
knees gave way and he fell to the floor.  
I hear Her voice from where the grave defies Her  
  
Siren song to sing along, no finer  
  
Suicide notes, harmonized in a minor  
  
Strike a chord with misery  
So...he left the sheltering of the lonely house...guided by the memories...the memories of her... they guided of that in music. The pulled him to his destination now.... as if he were in a trance. But not like the  
one Mr. Fuck put him through...he was still conscious.  
No light nor reef  
  
No unsinkable of romance keeps me  
  
Safely from the stormy seas  
  
Now drowning, resounding  
  
Death-knells pound my dreams  
  
Unthinkable to dredge through this  
  
Listless and lonely winter frieze  
Nothing would stop him from reaching her...She was calling him.... Her soft, elegant voice begged for him... He can't leave her alone...like he  
was... He did not want to be alone...they had to be together.  
A darken sky  
  
This day here after dies  
  
Falls swiftly into night  
  
And stays within my sight  
  
Staring at the knife  
  
Oh God, how ease it was to sacrifice  
  
My life, to have Her with me  
So now...he was with the only the memory of her...No sound was escaping from her lips...and there was no warm breath...no breaths at all. He took the rain soaked knife and just admired it's potential in his blood stained  
hands. Many thought rushed through his mind...but it all led to his  
purpose... he couldn't live with out her.  
No more a victim of a crusade  
  
Where souls are strung from a moral palisade  
  
I slit my wrists and quickly slip away...  
He will not be forced to struggle in the desert of life without his  
water...the thing that made him live... He will join all others who are  
wise enough to have deserted this hell sooner... He gripped the sliver knife tightly and with all the strength he had left...the memories of his  
beloved...he gashed the blue lifelines below his palm...they had to be destroyed to escape from here. He looked around for Psycho to appear and  
edge him on... but he never came... Johnny was only left with her.  
I journey now on jeweled sands  
  
Beneath a moon to Summer lands  
  
To grace Her lips with contraband  
  
The blaze once in my veins  
He could feel his spirit begin to lift from the desert and as the rain soaked him and his lover in the last minutes of them together...he grazed  
his lips upon hers and he felt the burning within his  
wrists...pleasure...release...and the memories of her. 


End file.
